learning to paint

Paint Brush

Author: Unknown

I keep my paint brush with me 

Wherever I may go,

In case I need to cover up

So the real me doesn’t show.

I’m so afraid to show you me,

Afraid of what you’ll do – that

You might laugh or say mean things.

I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.

I feel naked 

bare 

and cold

And if you still love Me with all that you see,

You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case somebody doesn’t understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.

I've liked this poem since I was in middle school. Of course, in my naive problems back then, I didn't understand all of it's intricate layers. But it was still very applicable, like it is now.

 

I've struggled to let people in, to let them see the real, true me and this poem so eloquently portrays my inner conflict. I still struggle with loving myself, loving my body, enjoying life. I still look to others for protection from the cruel world that doesn't understand. I still hide all that I am from those around me, closest to me, for fear of loss, disapproval, and the 

pain it causes me to do this over and over again.

 What this poem speaks to me is this, keep trying. Keep seeking those you can take the mask off to. Keeping the guard and walls up to everyone leaves you boxed in and alone.