This last month has been the hardest of the last year. Harder than the first fourish months where I was out of work and in treatment. Harder than the schedule I carried during my last semester of my undergrad
What's interesting about it is the fact that really great things have actually taken place but it's how I've handled them that has caused the month to be so hard.
In the last 3.5 weeks I left my job of 4 years and started a new job, using my degree, at a great organization. I finished my bachelor's degree and I got into grad school. I feel like there's even more that have slipped my mind.
The last 4 weeks have been SO stressful that I developed shingles. At under 30 I developed a disease people in their 50s and 60s are warned about. It's a disease that does have a vaccine but insurance does not cover it for anyone under 50.
Granted, I do have the foundation for developing the problem because I had chicken pox twice before I was one. But what brought it on was the extreme amount of stress and how overwhelmed I've felt.
I thought I was allowing myself to be stressed and my body was telling me differently. Instead the stress built up until it came out of me in the form of a disease.
So, I'm learning ways to de-stress. I've gone back up in modified sessions with my therapist and I've been given permission to do yoga. I have to leave the issues of work at work, as much as my mind will let me, and make sure I engage in social activities on weekends.
Because stress urges me to push everyone back and I'm learning the only real way to relieve it is to let people in.