Thursday, January 23, 2014


My family doesn't have traditions…meaning that every attempt to make an activity/get-together/etc into something re-occurring never happened. 

So, I want to make my own traditions, for myself and my future family. Christmas isn't a holiday I celebrate but I will make it a habit to be with family (or the family I create) during this holiday because it is one they celebrate.

Dinner will be a family activity. Each individual will have their part in preparing the meal. As much as possible everyone will eat together. But, if someone is unable to make it to the dinner table, a plate will be made for them for when they make it home.

I want to spend a few minutes at the end of each day with my children. Listening to them talk about their day, the good parts, the bad parts, and everything in between. By starting this young the line of communication is open. By remaining open to what they say I convey that I won't judge them. Then, when they need it as an older teenager or adult, they know my ears are still open. I'm still there. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Something worth celebrating

I'm sharing a blurb in a book about goals. I'm sharing this because I had written down some goals in November of 2011.

And I'm celebrating because I'm on target to completing some of them. Here's the excerpt from the book:

A goal is a dream set to paper. Don't ust think it-ink it! According to Dave Kohl, professor emeritus at Virginia Tech., people who regularly write down their goals earn nine times as much over their lifetimes as the people who don't, and yet 80% of Americans say they don't have goals. Sixteen percent do have goals, but they don't write them down. Less than four percent write down their goals, and fewer than one percent actually review them on an ongoing basis. Guess which one percent?

What are your dreams??? Write them down and make them your goals

Monday, January 20, 2014

Give me a boost…

…and not the supplemental kind of boost. But, a boost of energy; it was hard for me to get started on this topic because I'm rather lethargic as of late. I love coffee but it only seems like it works when I don't want it to. I'm a little haphazard in my eating habits which ends up in those lovely supplements listed above…those definitely don't give you energy.

I think what energizes me most at this point in my life is my niece. I love to see how she tirelessly runs and plays and talks. The excitement of going on the potty and watching her try to pinch the stickers to take them off the pages. Her pure enjoyment and wonder gives joy to others, including me.

In the work realm I find it in the moments of satisfaction, when I know I did something well, or when I find out one of my clients is doing well.

I think it's important to find ways to 'recharge' one's own batteries; many people I know are givers and they give of themselves until they are exhausted (I guess I'm speaking to myself right now too). It's ok to take breaks from the people in your life that drain your energy, it's ok to say no. And it's important to surround yourself with those that raise you up and bring you satisfaction.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

If I had a genie

I'd make three wishes. Rather, I'd make that many because that's all you get.

I think my wishes are heart breaking to me and, yet, hopeful. I do not want money or wealth because I do not need it to be happy. I make enough to be comfortable and I'm ok if that's all I ever do.

My first is to bring my father back from the dead.

This would not be enough to fix whatever was wrong before he committed suicide so I would wish for help to be there for that too. In these two wishes my dad would have back his life and the possibility of true healing for his wounds.

Not even this would gaurantee that he'd be part of my life, so my final wish would be for us to have a relationship. I want to have those father/daughter arguments, have him ground me, and have the ability to get angry at him. I want him to be here to kiss away tears, be there for milestones, like the birth of his (future) grandchildren.

But, they say, genie's wishes cannot cross the wall of death, so my wishes would remain stowed away in the bottle because what I want is already dead.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Holiday encouragement/holiday smiles

Probably my favorite memory of this year will be my niece opening gifts for me. :) She's at that age where the ripping off of paper is exciting and pulling things out of boxes still hold magic. It truly is not about what's in the box yet, she's too young for that, it's about the surprise of what's inside.

My encouragement may not seem all that positive, depending on how you view it.

The first is that 'this too, shall pass.' Just like any other day in the year, this one will move into a memory. So, just hold on. It'll be over before you know it.

Sometimes it helps to observe your family. Each of the members. The squabbles they get into with each other. Thinking about their 'behind the scenes' reel they may not try to show to others. Do this without getting involved in the arguments. In this little act an understanding is gained about the members of your family, even as you are building a little more autonomy for yourself. Their issues are about them, not you, and that's ok. You don't have to take on their struggles along with your own.

The last is that your family isn't the only one that may seem bat-shit crazy. I think the secret is that there are far more 'out there' families than 'normal' ones. And that our lives are more interesting for our crazy homes. It's something we can be grateful for, really.