I am not comfortable in my own skin; I hate knowing that other people are looking at me sexually; I realize these are not mutually exclusive and that they are, in fact, intimately intertwined.
The right to explore myself was stolen before I can remember and I'm just now fighting for that right back. The people/places/things are not actually present, not anymore, so I am fighting from within myself to accept this need to find myself, this desire, as okay. Intense work is being done in order to work from my beginnings out to the present; apart from this work I'm also exploring what feels good. It is my goal that I don't find my way from my past just to be lost in what I would like to do with my new present.
I'm proud of myself for exploring myself and learning what it's like to be connected to who I am, at home in my own skin.
I love this post and I can relate sooo much to it. It is really hard to be okay with having sexual needs and desires. It sounds like you are doing a lot of hard work and that's great!
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