Sunday, August 14, 2011

How did I get HERE?!?

     I currently reside in a crisis women's shelter as their resident advocate. It's been an amazing opportunity that has made such a difference in my own life, even as I'm impacting others. But, I wonder, how did I get here?
     I mean, really, which decision was the first stone laid down to this place? I don't think it was joining the military, or the other 25 jobs I've held thus far in my life. I'm not in a crisis situation, so that didn't land me here. The first stone could have been my background in psychology, but I don't think that's it either.
     Really, when I compare myself to these women, the only difference is sometimes happenstance. I've quit jobs. I've done things so dark and depraved I, almost, couldn't live with the shame. I've had issues with follow through. I've lost those close to me. Been in bad relationships. I have my own internal battles that make it hard to get up in the morning at times, and harder to breath at others.
     I think, maybe, it's all of these things that have brought me here. Because, while I don't always see the connection of who I was to who I am now, each choice/circumstance/heartache was a stone laid in the foundation of who I am now. Failure does not, truly, exist in my life. For while I may have been inadequate in so many areas of my life, those experiences are the ones I pull on now to make an impact.

Here isn't such a bad place to be.

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