Why am I writing this? I don't know. My mood makes me not want to write it, that's for sure. That's not because I don't have inspirations and influences, I do. I'm not going to recycle what I wrote a few years ago, although some of those are probably the same. It's when I try to write something positive that I have an acute awareness of my depression. I feel like I may be feeling better, but I have the sense this may be a delusion to try and get me to 'fake it, till you make it'.
I'm where I am at this minute because of so many people. I would not have made it this far working through my past without my treatment team. My doctor is the reason I'm still alive today...even though my depression is bad right now, it has been so much worse. I would love to emulate my doctor one day as a therapist. She models what it means to really listen to a patient.
My work influences me everyday. Everyday I help a client I also learn from them.
School influences me. For the best and the worst I will not be the same when I leave the program as when I started.
My fiance influences me. She believes in me. I love her.
This is as far as my energy goes right now. I wish I could flesh out this right now. Sigh.